AFoggyone: Tthe Problem with Errrors
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Tthe Problem with Errrors

Errors are funny things, but they can also be tragic. In the history of Earth, all ten thousand years of it (as proven by the 1560 geological survey team), their there have been many errors. Some of these mistakes are very humorous, such as gravity, swimming, Easter eggs, and Wyoming. But there is a tragic side to errors, as well. These problems can be seen, in all of there deformed hideous mutated icky sticky spider-covered glory, in many places.

Consider, for instance, a literary review. How many times has a man or woman sat down to write a literary review? Probably a good number of times. And how many times has that man or that woman accidentally pressed onne keyy that was not supposed to be pressed? Again, probably a few hundred billion times. And how many times has that writer, who was writing on what was written in order to be read and thus rewritten in a writing to be read on how to read what was written, sat down and purposefully hit the wrong key while wearing a yellow squid with two starfish sticking to its tentacles on his/her head? Probably not too many times. But therein lies the problem.

By refusing to refuse to refute the irrefutable, and by the irrefutable I mean typos, man has doomed himself to an oblong state of existence that will not roll down the hill properly, as the saying doesn't go. He has trapped himself, with the help of his spell checkers and his grammar chesses, to a life of perfection that is utterly bland and boring. That is not good. Not good at all.

You see, errors are a part of life. Depending on who you are, they could be a very big part. For instance, if you work as a politician, they are most likely a gigantic part of your life, with hundreds of errors being made every single day. Whereas if you work as a comatose vegetable in front of the TV, you are likely only to make one big error every day, which is sitting down in front of that thing. Unless of course you happen to be watching a good show, such as Saturday Night Live or Star Trek, in which case it is excusable.

Because errors are such a big part of our lives, we need to embrace errors, as we embrace husbands and wives and cousins and creatures from other planets. We, as a society, need to reach out to errors, just as we reach out to our serial killers and postal workers, and give then a big loving hug. Errors are our friends. We shouldn't be afraid of them.

If everybody were just to accept errors, think of how many positive goals could be accomplished. We could end world hunger, cure all harmful diseases, shelter the poor, destroy poverty, and more. We might even be able to develop a truly tasty low-fat potatoe chip. Imagine that. Now obviously, I don't have the space necessary to show how the acceptance of errors could do all this. But it doesn't take an Einstein to figure it out. All it takes is a slightly deranged weirdo with too much free time on his of her hands.

Unfortunately, however, the acceptance of errors brings about a problem all its own. You see, if we accept errors, they will no longer be errors. To answer a paraphrased Shakespearean rhetorical question, that which is an error would not be an error if it weren't an error. In such a case as would be brought about by the acceptance of errors, the word error would not mean what the word error now is perceived to mean, but would instead be perceived to mean something different from what we perceive it to mean, as perceived by us now.

This means that we would have to reverse the entire trend of accepting the unacceptable and refuting the unrefutable and living in Wyoming and so on. It would be horrifying. I mean, Wyoming is a state of mind. Who wants to live in a state that doesn't exist? I sure don't.

Despite all the reasons listed above, and because of everything written in this paper, it is quite clear that errors provide a paradox that is uniquely palindromic. Although there is no verbal way to write the palindrome, the derivative gotten from the matrices used is 18865756881. Obviously, we see why no matter what is done, errors are a problem.